How To Write Grand-Slam Messages

First, you need an offer inside of that message specific to it’s recipient.

What’s an offer to begin with?

The ONLY way to conduct business is through an exchange of value. A trade of dollars for that value. The offer is the first stepping stone to initiate this trade.

In other businesses, the offer is the services and goods you agree to provide in exchange for the customers dollars. In real estate and mortgages, you still get dollars, but in the exchange of servicing your clients. For loan officers, it’s providing amazing service to your clients and realtor partners in exchange for more referrals.

The goal when crafting an offer to future prospects or referral partners in prospecting, is to make it so good that they would feel STUPID not replying to it.

That’s a grand-slam message.

So how do we craft that GOOD of an offer in the mortgage and real estate industry? There’s hundreds of people that can do what I do. Maybe not as good, but they’re still there.

Creating an offer depends on the audience and what THEY value. The biggest key determiner is how valuable does your offer sound to them.

Below is an example that I use personally. My company has a product for home-town heroes, we offer a $1500 credit to the borrower to pay for their underwriting and processing fees. 

Copywriting is one of the most important tools in getting responses on any level of marketing. It should be short, understandable and to the point. The average reading level in the US is at a 6th grade level. So anything you write, should be able to be read by a 12 year old and fully understandable. 

So let’s break down 3 different ways I can word this offer into a script.

“Hey (First Name),

My name is Brandon and I have a program to give you a $1500 closing cost credit when you buy or refinance your home. Let me know if I can help!”

It gets the point across, but if you were to receive that, it’s not exciting. They probably wouldn’t care to remember who you were, or even accept your connection request. 

So let’s change up how we word it to make the perception of our offer be much more valuable. 

“Hey (First Name),

My name is Brandon and as a thank you for your service, we offer a specialized program catered to (occupation) to save you thousands at closing on your home. If you or any coworkers would be interested, can I send you the info?

Not only did we really add value into our scripting, we included the law of reciprocity. With a simple thank you, and what seems to be an amazing offer catered to that niche for their service, the conversations and reply rates will increase. Increasing in more closings. 

The simple phrase of  “any coworkers” now has them thinking about this offer and if they can help any of their friends save thousands of dollars as you mentioned. 

Additionally, let’s say you have a 100% doctor financing loan option or you partner with a lender who does so you choose doctors as a niche. 

“Hey (First Name)

My name is Brandon. As a thank you from the community for your hard work, I offer a program to save you thousands at closing on your home. If you or any coworkers would be interested, can I send you the info?”

Selecting the “Experience” option in sales navigator will allow you to see doctors that have graduated within the last 5 years, most likely looking to buy a home now.

The way you script things is very important to the individual. 

If you don’t have an offer as a realtor, you can work with a lender who does have one, or offer an amazing credibility statement with a case study.

For example, let’s say it’s college alumni.

“Hey (First Name),

My name is Brandon. I just helped a former (school) graduate get into their dream home as I live in (city). I see you went there as well! If I can ever help you on your real estate needs, let’s chat!”

That’s why picking a niche to add into your offer or scripting is very important because it’s personalized and opens up the conversations. 

If you’re going after referral partners as a loan officer, your script needs to be about how you can help them bring in more business. That should be your goal as an LO either way in today’s competitive market. 

This is how mine goes.

“Hey (First Name),

My name is Brandon and I offer a home-town heroes program that saves thousands as a closing cost credit. I would love to chat about how we can promote this and bring you in extra deals each month!” 

I then go over the program with them after setting a phone appointment, teach them how to set up prospecting campaigns in Tenix (as you should as well) and they now touch an additional 3000 people per month. 

I offer a ton of value there so they’re going to give me deals due to the law of reciprocity even if it doesn’t come from their campaigns. I can assure you their loan officer partnership now isn’t doing that for them.

If I didn’t have a specific offer, I would simply reach out with 

“Hey (First Name),

My name is Brandon and I’m a loan officer. I would love to go over some lead generation tactics together and learn from you on what you’re doing in the marketplace.  Let’s chat for a bit if you would be open to it!”

You already have the marketing tools here in the vault. Talk to them about niche, offers, credibility statements, how they’re currently bringing in deals, social media marketing on LinkedIn, outbound prospecting. Realtors that are worth partnering with love these conversations and will be the ones that survive in the real estate industry.

If you’ve already helped someone or want to “borrow credibility”, simplly include a credibility line statement about someone you helped with marketing, a client you helped with your offer, etc.

That brings in a credibility statement and gets you to “trust” out of the famous “know, like, trust” sequence. 

For a client, this would look something like 

“Hey (First Name),

My name is Brandon. I just helped another (occupation) like yourself save thousands on the closing of their home here in (their city). If I can ever help you or any of your coworkers, let’s chat!”

Best of luck, my friends!


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